Caption: “because this is a dating website and shit needs to pop awf. YA DIG”
Someone marry her
“Cooking, sexy dancing, maths, spending six hours watching videos of cats on YouTube.”
SOLD
“I am embarrassingly fond of kpop”
OMG ME TOO! BUT I AM NOT EMBARRASSED ABOUT IT! DO YOU LOVE G-D& TOP AS MUCH AS I DO????
DOUBLE SOLD
“I’m a moderate fuckup. I over-earnestly put tags in all the fields here because I thought that was a good thing to do, and have since realised that is a major faux-pas but now feel it would be capitulating to the tyranny of the majority to go back and remove them all.”
This person lives in London and is apparently AWESOME
“I’m a database manager for a medical research lab.”
Yes, AWESOME!
“Words began to come to me again.
They began to wrap around my mind like a silk stocking,
to trickle off the eager tip of my tongue over my lips and down the length of my throat like the remanence of some steamy affair.
This rush of inspiration, this sudden burst of creative abundance…
after such a lengthy mental block, a dry spell if you will,
felt like Christmas eve. Felt like getting off a plane knowing that someone special will be waiting for you at the Airport. It felt like the tingling sensation you get when simply anticipating the one you adore about to touch you. Like looking into there eyes and..
well ok ok lets not make this about love,
I was getting to a point…
*
I’m an Aries, flirtatious, sexy, passionate, romantic,fiercely devoted, faithful, affectionate, patient, nurturing, FUN! and of course SANE!!”
… what???
“I like the Spice Girls….
I also like to make up stories about people I don’t know while people watching. I make up my own constellations with stories to match. Essentially, I just love stories.
I want to sit on a porch on a summer night, drink whiskey and smoke a cigar and play my banjo…. just once. I don’t smoke, but they smell good.”
MARRY ME
(apologies to my girlfriend - and I probably would not marry her if she played a banjo next to me on a quiet summer night, let’s just be real)
I hope you don’t take this the wrong way… but is there any chance you’re queer?
“I am a gold star” Oh nevermind, thanks for clarifying!
PS. Can we stop with that “gold star” BS already? SO SICK OF IT. THERE IS NO PRIDE - OR SHAME - IN WHO YOU HAVE OR HAVE NOT DONE IT WITH OKAY. WE ALL HAVE BODIES OKAY
“Box wine, internet, kittens, music, soap, grammar”
Hmmmmm… this is either hilarious or tragic, I can’t decide. Maybe it’s both. It’s both. Existential.
How did you manage to make this same exact face/pose in ALL of your pictures???? I mean, I don’t see anything wrong with that except I need to know because you miiiiiiight be a cyborg and I think it’s really important for me to meet a cyborg before I die (I know you’re out there).
It’s cool that you went spelunking, but if this is the only picture you got you should probably have just used text to tell the story.
This is like something I would do - on purpose - and force all my friends to look at and they would be all “NO STOP I don’t want to look at that creepy alien version of your face ever again. NO REALLY I MEAN IT I AM SERIOUS I WILL LEAVE IF YOU DON’T STOP SHOWING ME THAT”. Then I would just make it their desktop wallpaper on their computers when they were out of the room and text it to them whenever they didn’t return my texts.
But I still wouldn’t put it on my dating profile.
Sometimes on OkCupid, you’re like, “Hey! This girl’s in my hometown!” Then you’re like, “Weird, hey, I know exactly where this picture was taken!” But then you’re like, “Oh, weird, oh, I went to high school with this girl and last time I saw her was this awkward interaction in a bar a couple years ago in which we were both like, ‘Oh uh hey yeah, did you go to ____ High School? Isn’t your name _______? Yeah! Yeah…’” Then you silently acknowledged the weirdness that you both ended up super queer (maybe one of us more predictably than the other), and in the same neighborhood of a different city but don’t want to have to talk about it because that conversation is SO BORING and you both plan to never actually speak to each other or make eye contact again.
That happened to me once
Just crop the picture man. Please. This started being the creepy way to do it when photoshop happened
The one in the middle is my sister. I have just officially been eaten, digested, and pooped out by the OkCupid queer world 100 times.
“My profile says seeing someone because I am- but I am an ethical slut which means that I can see anyone. It’s an important part of my life right now.”
Have you heard of that book called “The Ethical Slut?” I heard it was aight, don’t know if many people have read it tho… oh.
I’m pretty sure I am the only person I know that didn’t make it past chapter 3 because I was dying of boredom. Living in socially liberal culture bubbles is basically life-taught ethical sluttism and it’s really not that exciting if you (past the point of understanding that it’s great) realize you don’t actually want to be non-monogamous like ever… oops queer NW faux-pas, my bad. Truf tho
